Breaking Boundaries: The Authentic Journey of Siiickbrain from Agoraphobia to Artistry

Breaking Boundaries: The Authentic Journey of Siiickbrain from Agoraphobia to Artistry

- By Cori Westbrook

Ahead of the release of her album, My Masochistic Mind, the multi-talent confides how tragedy compelled her to conquer her fears and explore music as a means of personal therapy.

Siiickbrain, known as Caroline Miner Smith in her personal life, epitomizes the essence of a multi-faceted artist. Hailing from North Carolina, her journey is one marked by overcoming personal challenges, including severe agoraphobia and anxiety, which initially impeded her pursuit of creative endeavors.

Her foray into music in 2020 was not just a career choice but a response to a personal tragedy and a culmination of her long-standing love for diverse music genres, fostered by her family's eclectic tastes.

“I’ve been very experimental throughout my life. My family always encouraged me to try a bunch of different things and that’s how you figure out what you want to do in life. I had always wanted to try music, but I had a lot of anxiety. I did the other things as placeholders, because I always did just want to do music, but I was too scared.”

Beyond music, Siiickbrain's talents extend to modeling, makeup artistry, and creative direction. Her recent hiring as the creative director for Rose In Good Faith showcases her multifaceted skills and her belief in limitless experimentation.

“I was doing creative directing consulting for another brand that was about to start up. I’ve helped with a lot of creative direction for my friends and different brands, and so the owner wanted to run some things by me and pick my brain. So I created a deck for him for another brand and he thought he said “This is so cool, I’d rather you work on my main project.” So a couple meetings later and I signed to be the creative director in-house.”

“I do love visual art and history, I do love creating visual things... So, I love experimenting and trying new things and I don’t think there is any limit and I don’t think people should limit themselves in life because life is supposed to be lived.”

Her work with Rose In Good Faith came as an organic transition from her consultancy role for another brand, where her creative vision was quickly recognized and valued. “I was doing creative directing consulting for another brand... So a couple meetings later and I signed to be the creative director in-house.”

Despite her myriad of projects, Siiickbrain acknowledges the challenges of balancing her professional and personal life, emphasizing the importance of finding joy outside of work while acknowledging the ease with which she immerses herself in her creative endeavors. “It’s hard. I do have to check myself sometimes because I do become very deep into work... So I just work, work, work and wonder ‘How did I get here?’”

Siiickbrain's music is a conduit for her personal experiences, particularly her struggles with mental health. She believes in the power of vulnerability in art, though she recognizes that this may vary depending on the artist and their style. “I think it depends on the type of art someone creates... You’re just being honest and it’s just easier. Also, I feel like more people can relate to it.”

Her own experiences with agoraphobia and opening up about it in her music have fostered a deeper connection with her audience. “I didn’t think anyone would understand me having agoraphobia when I was younger... But when I opened up and started speaking about it more, I realized so many people have struggled with it.”

The turning point for Siiickbrain's music career came with a personal loss in 2020, coinciding with the onset of the pandemic. This period of grief and uncertainty pushed her towards music as a therapeutic outlet. “...my best friend overdosed... But making music and going to the studio, having that creative outlet, I think really saved me from going down a very sad, dark path.”

Siiickbrain views herself as part of a movement towards authenticity in the music industry. Her approach to her art is deeply personal, shunning trends or industry pressures in favor of genuine expression. “It feels good. I’ve been met with a lot of things that feel a little less than authentic to me... I know certain people can do that, but it’s just not me.”

Her collaborations have been notably organic, involving artists like Skrillex and WILLOW, which she attributes to natural connections rather than strategic choices. “I’ve been really lucky because I haven’t really been the one to choose... None of my collaborations were hard at all because they were meant to happen and happened so organically.”

Looking ahead, she expresses a desire to collaborate with artists like Death Grips or Chino Moreno.

With her debut full-length album set to release on December 1st, Siiickbrain reflects on the excitement and challenges involved in its creation, emphasizing her dedication to authenticity and uniqueness.

“It feels really good, it feels really exciting... I hope people take away ‘continue to be authentic’ and that things can be cool even if they’re not expected or following a trend. I hope that people take away that being weird can be good.”

Siiickbrain's persona, marked by her distinctive appearance and tattoos, reflects her journey towards self-expression, contrasting with her conservative upbringing. Her rise to fame, amplified by her social media presence, particularly on platforms like TikTok, underscores the evolving landscape of how artists connect with their audiences in the digital age.

As she continues to explore various creative fields, including film and writing, Siiickbrain's journey is a testament to the power of resilience, authenticity, and the transformative nature of art.

When asked about her favorite dinosaur, Siiickbrain's choice of a velociraptor speaks volumes about her own character: small but fierce, embodying agility and resilience.

“Probably a velociraptor. They’re small but fierce.”

As 2024 approaches, Siiickbrain stands on the cusp of a major mainstream breakthrough, with her music and fashion endeavors poised to redefine the landscape of alternative artistry. With her new album My Masochistic Mind and her continued role at Rose In Good Faith, she is set to captivate an even broader audience, offering a unique blend of music and style that defies conventional boundaries.

Siiickbrain's story is one of overcoming adversity, embracing one's true self, and pushing the limits of creativity. Her journey from a young girl grappling with agoraphobia in North Carolina to a multi-talented artist making waves in the music and fashion industries is a narrative of inspiration and authenticity. As she continues to evolve and explore new avenues, her impact on the alternative music scene and beyond is undeniable.

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My Masochistic Mind is out December 1st and can be pre-ordered HERE.

 

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